Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
