I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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