btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think your dad took our porno
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
