i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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