You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
