I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
