My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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