Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
