at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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