btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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