I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
