And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
