i think my tv is drunk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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