i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
