can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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