you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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