You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
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