i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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