come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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