been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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