I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
