Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up

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  (517): I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up http://tfl.nu/4pw3
  Replies (7) Good night (663) Bad night (1296)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.

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  (201): She's NOT homeless...she graduated early. http://tfl.nu/5ymo
  Replies (11) Good night (2945) Bad night (621)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.

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  (314): I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook. http://tfl.nu/a58w
  Replies (23) Good night (6906) Bad night (649)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M

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  (443): He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M http://tfl.nu/4y0g
  Replies (34) Good night (853) Bad night (10567)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Better looking than her though please.

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  (416): Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with? (416): Better looking than her though please. http://tfl.nu/bks1
  Replies (29) Good night (2040) Bad night (6172)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months

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  (919): I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months http://tfl.nu/8o8f
  Replies (10) Good night (2911) Bad night (3578)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.

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  (504): Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now. http://tfl.nu/h0mp
  Replies (9) Good night (2879) Bad night (845)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.

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  (617): You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints. http://tfl.nu/h72d
  Replies (3) Good night (1595) Bad night (738)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

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  (850): It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis http://tfl.nu/b0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (1367) Bad night (468)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?

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  (617): How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity? http://tfl.nu/1m4t
  Replies (7) Good night (1909) Bad night (570)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour

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  (215): I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour http://tfl.nu/upbq
  Replies (11) Good night (2429) Bad night (487)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...

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  (416): She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole... http://tfl.nu/kisj
  Replies (8) Good night (529) Bad night (1179)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.

  (936): View more from Texas

  You are the coolest girlfriend ever.

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  (903): Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us. (936): You are the coolest girlfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/hjex
  Replies (4) Good night (1634) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.

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  (519): You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew. http://tfl.nu/ni79
  Replies (2) Good night (740) Bad night (266)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.

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  (217): I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted. http://tfl.nu/vsw4
  Replies (2) Good night (216) Bad night (409)

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