I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
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Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
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He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?