As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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