but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
one might say we're banned from that church
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?