Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...

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  (703): someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat... http://tfl.nu/oev5
  Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (1417)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.

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  (505): I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer. http://tfl.nu/qapf
  Replies (48) Good night (4116) Bad night (3054)
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  (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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  (951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a
  Replies (17) Good night (3174) Bad night (1323)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula

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  (608): i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula http://tfl.nu/sb2u
  Replies (29) Good night (4235) Bad night (875)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours

  (816): View more from Missouri

  outstanding.

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  (816): and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like. (1-816): Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours (816): outstanding. http://tfl.nu/qtfw
  Replies (15) Good night (4380) Bad night (849)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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  (907): I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized. http://tfl.nu/0yaa
  Replies (12) Good night (3561) Bad night (893)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks

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  (207): She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks http://tfl.nu/sgso
  Replies (22) Good night (5213) Bad night (1094)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college

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  (801): Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college http://tfl.nu/xwrm
  Replies (8) Good night (2599) Bad night (701)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.

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  (705): I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard. http://tfl.nu/825y
  Replies (2) Good night (1053) Bad night (690)
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  (607): View more from New York

  just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out

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  (607): just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out http://tfl.nu/axwq
  Replies (5) Good night (955) Bad night (587)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts

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  (910): I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts http://tfl.nu/bmph
  Replies (14) Good night (1194) Bad night (560)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...

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  (256): Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/w83s
  Replies (0) Good night (749) Bad night (477)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.

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  (248): Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed. http://tfl.nu/r0u0
  Replies (1) Good night (766) Bad night (560)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..

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  (+44): I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far.. http://tfl.nu/4lu0
  Replies (2) Good night (244) Bad night (401)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!

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  (289): You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed! http://tfl.nu/yyc5
  Replies (0) Good night (349) Bad night (162)

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