Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.