Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  He wasn't the only one with a full load.

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  (508): He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket... (1-508): He wasn't the only one with a full load. http://tfl.nu/y8kb
  Replies (24) Good night (6322) Bad night (1101)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience

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  (248): so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience http://tfl.nu/77ps
  Replies (16) Good night (769) Bad night (4222)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up

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  (502): I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up http://tfl.nu/gsij
  Replies (27) Good night (7537) Bad night (754)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.

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  (612): i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high. http://tfl.nu/z4jl
  Replies (25) Good night (5664) Bad night (809)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!

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  (512): She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them! http://tfl.nu/ovo7
  Replies (20) Good night (6526) Bad night (1215)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion

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  (904): I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion http://tfl.nu/iqkp
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (3159)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.

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  (575): I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend. http://tfl.nu/kkwb
  Replies (3) Good night (684) Bad night (1407)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room

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  (406): don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room http://tfl.nu/gche
  Replies (2) Good night (399) Bad night (737)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.

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  (907): according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it. http://tfl.nu/rmyb
  Replies (7) Good night (1080) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.

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  (970): Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you. http://tfl.nu/2i7x
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.

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  (804): I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together. http://tfl.nu/pd1t
  Replies (2) Good night (621) Bad night (322)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved

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  (214): dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved http://tfl.nu/kl2o
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (238)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck

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  (631): I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck http://tfl.nu/l2kc
  Replies (4) Good night (978) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

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  (541): I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith. http://tfl.nu/2rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (508) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  How is that low? I love carrots.

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  (720): I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low. (563): How is that low? I love carrots. http://tfl.nu/c1zp
  Replies (0) Good night (468) Bad night (110)

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