omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
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Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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