That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize