Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
