well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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