Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
