My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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