I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
