Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
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