We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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