i barfeds in our rink
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
