Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
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"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
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He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
that may or may not have been my penis.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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