he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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