I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
