Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
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It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
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I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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