He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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