when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
sex in a hospital.. check
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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