Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
