My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
