are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
