Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
