We're like a lot better than the average bears
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
