after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
