my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
