Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
