I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
