But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
