Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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