do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So much Jack, so little girl.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
