Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
