you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
