I can text with my tongue
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
