You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
