Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
