no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
