How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Randomize
