You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
