She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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