I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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