There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
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Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
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Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize