I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
