your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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